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.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBBr rtrying to think of nothing but the slow drumming of the rain on theroof.They say if someone tells you not to think of a polar bear, itbecomes impossible not to.If he thought about what he was trying todrain out of himself, it would embed itself back into his memory.Sohe thought about the sound of the rain, scanning through his perfectmemory for music that matched the rhythm.He found one in themournful ballad of "I Am A Rock" and filled his mind with its somberwords.I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.***.If I never loved I never would have cried.Atticus blinked, aware that tears were in his eyes, but having noidea why he'd been crying.He was in a bus shelter, rain drumming onthe roof, an old Simon and Garfunkel song running through his head.For a panicked moment, he was worried something had happened toRu, but his love was right there, on the wooden bench beside him.Mice whiskers tickled his fingers.He glanced down and found hisknife in his right hand, a healing cut on his left wrist, and a mousecupped in his palm, anxious about its fate.He hadn't drained out memories since he was a child.Oh, God,what happened that made me do this again?"Kyle?" he asked fearfully."No," Ru whispered huskily."Your brother died.""Again?"aaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBBr rRu gave a shaky laugh, and then hunched over and began toweep.Atticus spilled his mouse onto a floor strewn with cigarettebutts and gathered Ru to him."Hush, hush, I'm here."What had happened? he wondered with dread.His brothermust have gotten himself totally fucked-up if Ru was worried.Themouse climbed his shoe to press against his sock, fearful, aware ofbeing cast out.Atticus had learned the hard way that he did this tohimself for good reasons; taking back the mouse would be worse thanbeing ignorant.His brother was dead that was all he really needed toknow to function.Perhaps all he could handle.Tentatively, he probed his memories.He could remember splitting up possible drug lab sites withSumpter.After that, images of driving to South Boston and findingDaggit packing stuttered through his mind, ending with theOntongard bearing down on them, and Ukiah racing toward them,and behind him, sweeping in on motorcycles, the Pack.At the time,he'd been too caught up in the roar of explosions to even notice theDog Warriors.Distanced by time, now, he could feel them moving asone creature, with Ukiah as its heart and soul.They resounded withone will, one thought: to protect Ru.It would kill Atticus to lose Ru.He had one clear memory of Ukiah shielding Ru with his ownbody, and then his recall ended, as if sliced out with laser precision.Practice made perfect.He could guess what followed.Even withoutaaTTnnssFFffooDDrrPPmmYYeeYYrrBB22.BBAAClick here to buyClick here to buywwmmwwoowwcc.AAYYBBYYBBr rthe memory, knowledge that his brother sacrificed himself for Rumade him feel sick even as it confused him.Why had Ukiah saved Ru? Why had he cared?On the heels of that, he realized how close he'd been to losingRu.Ukiah had acted with inhuman speed; Ru wouldn't have been ableto save himself.The potential loss opened up a canyon of grief, whichhe could look into but because of Ukiah not fall into.If Ru had died,draining out a day's worth of memories would not have helped.To gohome to an empty house and empty life, to go back to his life as it hadbeen while he was growing up.Ukiah had been right losing Ru would have driven him mad.It was stunning and humbling that his brother guessed what hehadn't known about himself.Worse was the knowledge that he'd created the danger himself.He'd known the Ontongard had been tracking the cult, and in anydirect confrontation between human and alien, the aliens would win.Yet he had not taken Ukiah with him, admitted the truth to Sumpter,nor contacted Indigo.He'd been a fool.This wasn't just about the drug anymore.It couldn't be [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]