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.Reluctantly, Snape nodded his head."Thank you, Severus.If everything checks out, I'll release you this afternoon."Only when Dumbledore was certain that Poppy had left the hospital wing, did he speak."Severus, quite frankly I'm surprised to see how disinterested you seem to be in all of this."Snape closed his book and trained his gaze on the Headmaster."If you want my opinion, which clearly neither of you do, this is a colossal waste of time.I'm perfectly fine.Poppy said so herself.There is nothing medically or magically wrong with me.""I beg to differ, Severus.You were under an inordinate amount of stress and suffered a collapse into unconsciousness after which you awoke missing significant portions of your memory.You are clearly not well, my boy."Snape eyed the Headmaster a long moment before beginning significantly, his voice calm and thoughtful, "Have you ever considered the possibility that I was sick before and am well now?"Taken aback by the question, Dumbledore struggled for a reply.Snape did not allow him time to formulate one and continued, "Think about it, Albus.Is it really normal sounding to you - me in a romantic relationship with Potter?""Severus�""Quite frankly," Snape interrupted, his voice growing more agitated, "I can't believe you ever allowed this, Albus.It's completely unethical.A professor in some sort of tęte-ŕ-tęte with a student.It's perverse.""Nothing about your relationship with Harry was perverse, Severus.In fact�""Please," Snape said, half-covering his ears, "I really don't want to hear about this now."When the elder wizard remained silent, Snape continued kindly, acknowledging the concern that his friend was displaying, "Albus, there's no reason you need to hang around here.You should get some sleep too."Dumbledore studied Severus for a long moment before responding, "Alright.But before I leave you to your book, Severus, I hope you'll consent to one more examination, this one by me.It won't take but a tick."Snape eyed Dumbledore somewhat suspiciously before asking, "What sort of examination?""Given the strain you were under just before you collapsed, I just want to see that your mental walls are intact.Nothing invasive, I promise," Dumbledore reassured."I'm fine, Albus," Snape insisted."If my walls were down, you'd be the first to know it I'm sure.""Still, if it's alright with you," Dumbledore said gently, "I'd prefer to see myself."It took Snape a few seconds, but ultimately he gave a reluctant nod of agreement.------------------------------------------Determined to gain as much information about Severus's condition as possible, Dumbledore was reading everything he could on the topic of memory.He'd also contacted several of his old colleagues and discretely plied them for information about repressed memory and the circumstances of selective amnesia.But truth be told, there were few, if any, witches or wizards with the knowledge of Occlumency and Psychlimency that Dumbledore possessed.And none that understood Severus's rare capacity to control the organization of his mind or his ability to camouflage memory within the far reaches of his consciousness.Dumbledore knew that Severus's mental walls had been slipping over the past week since his encounter with Voldemort; at times, he'd been able to hear Severus's thoughts without prompting.Dumbledore believed that Severus had finally lost nearly all control over his mental walls that night on the tower with Harry, and without those walls providing the necessary structure and stability, he'd most likely suffered a mental breakdown.As a result, Dumbledore was quite surprised by what he'd seen during his examination of Severus's mind in the hospital wing.Although the examination was rather cursory, Severus's mental walls and the overall organization of his mind was nothing like the chaotic mess he'd expected.In fact, on the surface, everything appeared quite stable, with defined order and pattern.He did not probe deeper, as he had promised Severus he would not, but his superficial entry had left him without the tiniest glimpse of the memories of Harry or his traumatic experiences with Voldemort.In truth, Dumbledore had half-expected to spot them, their misplacement evident immediately to him, even if they were not to Severus.Dumbledore theorized that the outer order of Severus's mind could quite possibly allow him to retain his amnesia for longer than expected, possibly even upwards of a week.He was certain that the depths of Severus's mind below his main walls were a chaotic mess, his mind warring with its own self, the offending memories trying to come into consciousness once more.He knew without doubt that when that moment came, Severus would fall ill again, perhaps far worse than before.And Dumbledore was determined to be ready to help his friend the moment that happened.------------------------------------------Just as she'd promised, Pomfrey had released Snape on Saturday afternoon with a pledge that if any of his memories returned, he would notify her and the Headmaster immediately.Dumbledore had checked in on him on Sunday, and his condition and demeanor had remained unchanged.And to the Headmaster's surprise, Severus had insisted on teaching his classes.With Monday's classes now over, Dumbledore was expecting Harry at any moment, eager for a report on how Severus had handled teaching a class with him in it.Dumbledore sensed a visitor on his ascending staircase, and a moment later his heavy oak door opened and Harry strode in."Have a seat, my boy.How are you?""Okay, I guess.""So tell me, how was Potions?""Nothing different," Harry replied dejectedly."Severus was ignoring me before, and he's ignoring me now.""Did he seem troubled in any way?" Dumbledore asked."Not that I could tell.""I see.Well, it's only been two days, Harry.As Poppy and I mentioned, it might take some time for him to regain his memories.""How long exactly?""It's hard to say for certain, my boy.A few days, a week maybe.But he will remember, Harry," Dumbledore insisted."The memories are there; Severus is simply repressing them.""So he'll get better?""Not immediately.It will be complicated.""Because he'll be sick," Harry said, realizing what Dumbledore meant."Like he was before?" "In all likelihood his mind won't let him remember everything at once - which will be fortunate.The memories will start coming back in bits� he may remember your relationship first, with the traumatic events remaining repressed.In fact, it would be better for him if it happens that way.Then I'll be able to help him deal with the memories one by one."Harry considered this information for a long moment, his expression pensive.When he finally spoke, he did so with conviction."I want to see him."Harry sensed Dumbledore's hesitation and added quickly, "Unless you think I'll hurt him." Harry threw his head in his hands and tried to hold back the tears as he said hoarsely, "I caused this, didn't I?""No, Harry," Dumbledore said gently."Your presence on the tower certainly didn't help, but Severus was heading for a mental breakdown regardless.I was hoping to get him the help he needed before it happened, but I confess that I did not accurately understand the degree of Severus's turmoil.""So I shouldn't see him then?""Honestly," Dumbledore began, "at the moment, I'm more worried about the damage it would do to you [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]