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.“Okay,” she said.She was agreeable to anything.But Jilly could see what saying those words meant to Gwen.what it meant to her to have Shye know for certain Gwen was her mother.Ariana let out another gusty cry.“I’ll bring her right down,” Jilly said.They all went inside, and Jilly went upstairs to get the baby.Ariana had grown in the three short days they’d been gone.Her eyes were bright buttons of blue-green, changing to the color of Kane’s.The thought turned Jilly’s stomach, but as she reached down and picked up the squirming bundle all thoughts of Kane disappeared.Her feeling for Ariana was the same as what she was beginning to feel for Shye, only much stronger.Looks had nothing to do with who these two girls were going to be.“Did you miss me, too, baby?” she cooed.Ariana stared up at her wide-eyed.“You did, didn’t you?” She could have sworn she saw Ariana smile.As if the baby were a rose, Jilly sniffed the soft folds of her neck.Ariana smelled of baby soap and baby powder, of sleep and innocence, and everything good and right in the world.Lovingly, she carried her downstairs and put her into Gwen’s arm.Shye was kneeling on the couch beside her mother, and she peeked over at the baby.“Tha’s a nice one!” she said to her mother.Gwen laughed.“She sure is.And so are you!”“I’m going to take a bath,” Jilly said.“I won’t be long, and then I’ll help with dinner.”“Take your time,” Cat said.“Tage went home to clean up, too, but he’s coming back to eat.”She hadn’t even said goodbye—hadn’t even seen him go.She walked up the stairs, but she heard Cat ask Gwen if she thought something was wrong.Gwen’s answer was lost, though, as she reached the top of the stairs.Could she ever get it back? she wondered.Could she recapture that feeling of anticipation and joy at being here and being alive? She looked over at the attic doorway and instead of going into her room she pulled open the door and went up the steps.The oatmeal canister was still sitting by the top of the stairs.Otto must have returned it to that exact spot after he’d gotten the rings out.He would have, she thought, because he’d want to remember where it sat.She grabbed the can and pulled open the top.The papers were still inside, and she had to empty them out to get to the letter at the bottom.Carefully, she pulled out the envelope and tore off the return address.She stuffed it into her pocket and then put everything back.The tiny slip of paper burned against her thigh as she went down the stairs.She’d known the address was there, waiting for her, but she’d been afraid to find out the truth.She’d been terrified and not really known it, terrified of being rejected again by her own mother.That fear, in part, had allowed her desire to search for her mother to slip-slide into a place where she comforted herself by saying there’d be time later.Now, though, she knew the passage of time could change things irrevocably, that ‘time later’ became ‘time lost.’Her hands steadied as she took a deep breath.She wasn’t afraid anymore.Moving carefully, with precision, she went into her bedroom and tucked the address into the top drawer of her dresser underneath her socks and underwear then gathered up her things so she could take a bath.She’d write to her mother after dinner, when everyone else was busy and she could think about what she wanted to say.Tage returned shortly after she’d gone downstairs and they sat down to eat a late dinner.The kitchen table was full to capacity.Even Shye had a chair of her own; she sat on four volumes of the old encyclopedia set from the living room bookshelf and beamed with happiness.Jilly forked up her green beans and ate them one at a time, barely paying attention to the conversation.She had fooled herself into believing the faces surrounding her were her family, but she knew, like Gwen, she had only wished the idea to be fact.How could they love her, even if she loved them, when none of them knew who she really was?“Did you hear that, Jilly?” Tage asked, reaching out to nudge her foot under the table.“What?” She looked up.“They thought Kane had been here Saturday night.”Jilly gave a visible start.“Why?”“Little pitchers have big ears,” Cat said, pointing toward Shye, who was perched on her stack of books like an animated chipmunk.“Whatszat mean?” she asked, her tiny mouth hanging open with puzzlement.Cat laughed.“I’m not exactly sure,” she admitted.“I suppose it means you should come and help me cut up the cake, while these guys talk.What do you think of that?”Shye nodded her head, and Cat scooped her up and took her into the pantry.“Tell her, Otto,” Tage said.“We found three dead rabbits, noosed together with a wire around their necks out back near the barn.”“Dead rabbits?” Jilly repeated, shocked.“We thought it was Kane’s way of letting us know he was still around.”“He wasn’t around here,” Jilly said.“How do you know?” Gwen asked.“We saw him at the commune,” Tage said, his voice grim and hard.“His business was there.”“That’s the only business he has,” Jilly whispered.She swallowed.“I know who left that thing here,” she said a bit louder.“You do?” Otto asked.“Who?”“Reuben Payne, that’s who.” She proceeded to tell them, despite her promise to Cat, about meeting Reuben in town and his vow to get even with them all.“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Otto asked.He held up a hand.“No.Don’t tell me.Cat wouldn’t let you, would she?”“I wouldn’t let her what?” Cat asked, coming back into the kitchen carrying dessert plates and the cake.Shye tagged along behind her, frosting caught on her lower lip.“Reuben,” Otto said shortly.Cat thumped the cake onto the table.“Oh, Jilly! You didn’t!” she said.She looked around the table.“You did!”“She had to,” Tage said.“That wasn’t Kane who left those sad animals by the barn.He was nowhere near here.”Cat sat down abruptly in the chair beside Otto.“You’re sure?” she asked.“We’re sure,” Tage said.“Then it had to be Reuben,” Cat said.Her voice sounded tiny and scared.“I think I better—”“You aren’t going anywhere,” Otto interrupted.“You’re staying right here where we can all keep our eyes open.If Reuben Payne is killing animals and leaving them here for a warning to you, the last thing you want to do is be alone where he could get at you.”“We’ll all be extra careful,” Gwen said.“He’s obviously crazy.” She reached down and plunked Shye up into her chair.“Cake?” Shye said.She picked up her fork and raised her eyebrows hopefully.“Yes,” Cat said.She got to her feet and began serving.“Cake is what we all need right now.”Jilly ate her cake slowly, trying to savor the sweetness as she always did, while the conversation swirled around her.“You’re awfully quiet,” Gwen said to her.“Hmmm,” Jilly said.“I guess I’m tired.Would you all mind if I went to bed?”“Of course not,” Gwen said.“Why don’t you stay here, too, Tage? You’ve got to be exhausted.”Tage looked at Jilly but she lowered her eyes.“I think I’ll go home,” he said.“Thank you for the dinner.It was delicious.”Jilly stared down at her plate until she heard the front door shut.“What in the world?” Cat exclaimed.Jilly saw her staring in disbelief at the closed door.“I’m going to bed,” she said.“Excuse me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]