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.It s hard.Hissudden realisation had injected somestrength into him. Jesse, we re all okay.Lay down. You re okay? His hand lifts and feels itsway through thin air until he finds my face. Please tell me you re okay. I m fine. And the babies? I ve had two scans. I rest my hand overhis and help him feel me.It relaxes himcompletely, my words assisting, too.Hiseyes close, making me want to prod him toopen, but I let him rest them. I should callthe nurse. No, please.Let me wake up before theystart poking me about. His hand slidesfrom my cheek to the nape of my neck andhe applies a light pressure, silently tellingme to come closer. I don t want to hurt you. I protest,pulling against him, but his face strainsand his strength increases. Jesse. Contact.Do what you re told. he snapsdrowsily.Even now, when he s clearly intremendous pain, he s impossible. Are you in much pain? I ask, loweringmyself gently to his side. Agony. I need to get the nurse. Soon.I m comfy. No you re not. I almost laugh, workingaround his wound to gently rest againsthim.I ll give him five minutes, then I mgetting the nurse, and there is nothing hecan do to stop me literally, for once. I m glad you re still here, he murmurs,using more valuable energy to turn hisface into mine and kiss me. I d havegiven up if I didn t constantly hear yourdefiant voice. You could hear me? Yes, it was strange and fucking annoyingwhen I couldn t tell you off.Will you everdo what you re told? There is no humourin his tone.It makes me smile. No, Thought not, he sighs. I have someexplaining to do.Those few words make me tense. No youdon t. I blurt, trying to pull away fromhim so I can get the nurse, but I m goingnowhere. Fuck! he spits,  Fucking, fuck, fuck,fuck! He s still fighting against me, thestupid man, but I m the one who relents,more concerned for him than he is forhimself. Just stay put and listen. hedemands harshly. You re not goinganywhere until I ve told you about Rosie.Rosie.The name signifies unbearableheartache and years of self-torture.Heshould have confessed this long ago.Itwould have explained so many of hisneurotic ways. Lauren was the daughter of my mum anddad s good friends. He begins, and Ibrace myself, realising that I m about toget the whole story.Not just the bits thatI d like to hear about his daughter, but theparts about the psychotic woman whonearly robbed him from me. I m sure youcan imagine the type well-bred, rich andhighly respected in the snotty communitythat we were forced to tolerate.We fooledaround once and she ended up pregnant.We were seventeen, young and stupid.Can you imagine the scandal? I d reallydone it this time. He shifts, flinching andcursing some more. Emergency meetings were calledbetween Lauren s family and my own, andher father demanded I marry her beforeword got out and ruined both of ourfamilies.Jake had not long died and Iwent along with it, hoping my compliancemight build some bridges with myparents.I clench my eyes shut and hold on to him alittle tighter, remembering our visit to myparents and his reaction to my motherimplying that he d married me because Iwas pregnant. An arranged marriage? Iask. Yes, but the joint effort of both familiesdid an amazing job of convincing thecommunity that we were hopelessly inlove. She was. I whisper, knowing thedirection in which this story is heading. And I wasn t. he confirms quietly. Iwas married off and moved into herparents country estate within a month.Everyone was happy, except me. Hisfingers play idly with my hair, and hedraws a painful breath before continuing. Carmichael gave me an escape, and Ifinally plucked up the courage to call ahalt on the whole diabolical farce, butwhen Rosie arrived, I was determined tobe a dad.That little girl was the onlyperson on the planet who loved me for me,no expectations or pressure, she justaccepted me in her innocence.It didn tmatter that she was a baby.All of this is filling me with immenseproudness, but this story doesn t have ahappily ever after.And it crushes me. She was a real daddy s girl. he saysfondly. I could do no wrong, and I knew Inever would in her eyes.That was enoughto make me evaluate the lifestyle I dslipped into while Lauren was pregnant.Carmichael got the best solicitor involvedto try and gain me full custody because heknew that she was my redeemer, butLauren s family dug up every dirty littlesecret, from Jake, to The Manor, to mybrief lifestyle from when I left Laurenuntil Rosie was born.I didn t have ahope. And you parents had moved to Spain bynow? I ask.He jerks on a hiss as he laughs quietly. Yes, they escaped the shame I d broughton the family. They abandoned you. I whisper. They wanted me to go with them.Mumbegged, but I couldn t leave Rosie fulltimewith that family.She d be frowned uponas an illegitimate child, even though shehad me.Not an option. So then what? Rosie was three and I made the worstmistake of my life. He pauses, and I knowhe s munching on that bottom lip. I sleptwith Sarah. he says quietly [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]