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.He tried to find the event that might have been the trigger, but if Natalya knew of it, he couldn't find evidence of it in her memories.He found several places where it seemed her memories were wiped clean, as if she had suffered a terrible trauma and her brain had been damaged.He found threads of memories that led nowhere, suddenly ending abruptly in a dark void.He didn't dare stay too long and he was getting tired trying to maintain too many things at once so he pulled out reluctantly to concentrate on enjoying the flight with his lifemate.Vikirnoff banked and plunged downward to give Natalya an additional thrill, pulling up at the last moment before hitting the surface of the water and skimming the canopy of trees.She laughed out loud.He could actually feel waves of happiness flowing out of her.She leaned close to the bird's ear, but spoke telepathically.This is wonderful! Thank you so much, Vikirnoff This is one of the coolest things I've ever done in my life.He was grateful he was the one giving her the experience.Deliberately, he flew above the lakes and treetops, giving her a bird's-eye view of the beauty of the country.The ice and snow sparkled, the mountains glittered.Sheep dotted the meadows and farms and churches and castles stretched out below them.It is amazing is it not? Seeing it all through her eyes brought back forgotten memories of his childhood, his first flight over the exact same area he was taking Natalya.Of course, it looked a lot different then, much more wild and uninhabited.He had wobbled a bit, but he had soared nearly all night.The freedom had been intoxicating.I have you to thank for the memories.I have not thought of that in more centuries than I care to recall.Do you call up dreams when you go to sleep?No, we shut everything down.Do you?Oh, yes.Everything I love about my childhood and my times with Razvan.All the things we did together, the things we learned.I had a relatively happy childhood.My mother died when I was about ten and a year later my father left us and we had to live with?She trailed off, a frown replacing her smile.She fell silent.Vikirnoff waited, but Natalya didn't continue the conversation.He touched her mind, but it was as if a door had slammed shut?or one of the damaged threads of memory had ended abruptly.He could feel her bewilderment.I feel your distress.Is the memory of the loss of your parents so painful still that you cannot talk about it? He dropped low to skim through a meadow of wildflowers before circling around to fly back up toward the higher peaks.Natalya bit down on her lower lip.She didn't want to admit the truth.She forgot things.Worrisome things.What could she tell him that would make sense?Vikirnoff began quartering along the ridge of the mountain, searching for an entrance to the cave in Natalya's mind.It is difficult to lie to one another.You may as well not try.If you prefer not to tell me the truth, silence is better than a lie.Natalya appreciated the sincerity in his voice.She didn't know what was wrong with her and she had no way to explain it.She resorted to teasing in an effort to bring back the fragile camaraderie between them.Oh, great, so if I take a few lovers, you'd know.That's what you're telling me.If you decide to take lovers, ainaak eny?, be very certain they are men you consider enemies and wish destroyed.He sounded very calm, but she felt the bite of his teeth as they snapped together.I'm going to have to really work at understanding the concept of lifemates and how you were able to bind us together.I really am very good at turning spells around.The ritual words have to be a type of binding spell.There must be a way to undo what you did.I'm fairly confident I'll be able to figure it out.Vikirnoff winced inwardly.It was evident that Natalya intended to be rid of him as quickly as possible, anyway that she could.She regarded him as an enemy of her family.Most of all she didn't like him.And that hurt.He turned that piece of information over and over in his mind.He couldn't remember anything hurting him emotionally.Not a single incident.There must have been moments in his childhood, in his youth as a fledgling, yet this moment, this realization hurt deeper than anything he remembered.What is it?So she was tuned to him whether she wanted to be or not.She wasn't touching his mind, yet she felt his sudden wrenching heartache.I cannot lie to you either and I would prefer not to discuss it.He would prefer to do the things necessary for their survival.For Natalya's survival.He didn't need to turn into a pathetic romantic who expected his lifemate to be enamored of him.It didn't matter whether she was or not.They were joined, two halves of the same whole.That was all that mattered.Natalya nibbled on her lower lip, trying to puzzle out what was wrong.In the short time she'd known him, she'd come to realize Vikirnoff rarely showed emotion.Not in his tone, not in his expression, not even in what he said.Only his eyes were alive, raw power, hunger, desire, an intensity that overwhelmed her.She was grateful she couldn't see them now.She didn't want to see hurt or sorrow.Her stomach was tied into knots at the thought of it.Neither one of us is very good at talking things out, are we? she asked.Her hands smoothed the feathers at the back of his neck.I guess that is so.I never had much need to discuss feelings when I had none.I relied on my own judgment in battle, in every decision, in every way.Who was there to discuss things with and what would I discuss? If it was an apology, he knew it was a poor one.He honestly didn't know what people talked about or how they did it.You've spent a long time alone, haven't you?There was a small silence.Natalya feared he wouldn't answer.She found she was holding her breath waiting.Centuries.I have been cut off from my homeland and my people, sent out long ago to battle the vampire [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]