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.My stomach felt too knotted to manage food.It didn’t stop Rynn, however, who went for the plates before I nudged him to remind him that the Plutarch was served first.He retreated, blushing.‘Will the twins be joining us at breakfast?’ I asked, to salvage the situation.‘The twins do as they will, accountable only to each other,’ said Ledo, with the shallowest of smiles.I didn’t like his tone.The handmaidens served us in silence, then retreated from the room.Ledo had become grave, and it chilled me.I had no idea what the twins had said to him, or if they had told him of my defiance in the sculpture-garden.‘When you married, I gave my permission with a gladdened soul,’ he said.‘Some said that for two of my Cadre to be so joined in love would weaken the both of them.That a man could not give himself to combat if he had given himself to a wife.A woman could not use all her silken wiles if she feared to betray a husband.’Rynn shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.That aspect of my craft was never spoken of, ever.There was no way I could explain to him the kind of steely hatred I felt for myself when I slept with other men.Nor would he ever be convinced that it was utterly necessary in some cases, because the surest way to a man’s secrets was through his bed.Being a Bondswoman meant loyalty to the master above all.Even my husband.‘But I believed in you,’ Ledo said.‘And you rewarded my trust.You have become valuable as the rarest of jewels to me.’ He bit into a fruit, chewed, then held it up before him and examined it.‘I wonder, will a child diminish you the way they thought your marriage might?’He didn’t appear to be asking us, but rather himself, so we kept quiet.Rynn ate, trying to make as little noise as possible.Ledo put the fruit down and lowered his eyes.‘Disappointment aches in my stomach like the voids,’ he said heavily.‘I swear, we didn’t mean for this to happen,’ I said.‘We would never intentionally conceive without your approval.’‘Your loyalty is not in question, Orna.But there is precedent to consider.There are others in my Cadre who may also desire children.What soothing words will I have for them?’I had nothing to say.There was no defence that would convince him.He sighed and sat back, steepling his fingers and tapping his index fingers against his teeth.‘You will continue to work for me as a spy until your condition prevents you,’ he said.‘You understand, I am sure, how the lush bloom of pregnancy can be exploited to lower suspicions in the society of men and women.I will arrange someone else for the more physical aspects of your work.’My breath was trapped in my throat.I could barely believe what I was hearing.Rynn continued eating, gazing hard at his plate.Food offered the only safety in the room for him.‘The child will be crèched as soon as it is reasonable to do so,’ he continued.‘If I see the quality of your work diminish even a little, Orna, your child will be taken.Rynn, my words brush you also.’Rynn looked up at him briefly, then back at his plate.‘Thank you,’ I whispered.‘You won’t regret your decision, Magnate.We will—’‘The child will also be Bonded to Clan Caracassa,’ he interrupted.‘Standard lifedebt, for a single generation.It shall not pass to their offspring, but they shall be mine as you are.’My relief curdled in my mouth.No, no, no, this was too cruel.Our children were supposed to be free, to choose their own paths in life.Rynn had wanted that even more than I.Rynn, who had never known anything but Bondsmanship.Rynn, still paying for his grandfather’s mistake even now.Abyss, they were meant to have the chance at a normal life even if we could not.I almost protested.I almost forgot who I was and who he was and how much we owed him for allowing this.I almost forgot how much I owed the twins for persuading him.‘You’re very generous, Magnate,’ Rynn rumbled next to me, and I shut my mouth before I could say what I wanted to.He had seen it coming and headed me off.Every once in a while, he saw right into me.I swallowed down the bile, took a breath, and said: ‘We are grateful for your mercy.’Ledo nodded vaguely and returned to his breakfast.Rynn took my hand beneath the table and squeezed it hard.And with that, we had saved our child’s life by giving it away.38The Academy was all I’d known for four years now, ever since I was accepted at the age of ten, the same age I swore Bond to Clan Caracassa.The cavern that housed the Academy complex was the limit of my world; I wasn’t allowed to leave it, and I didn’t want to.I’d suffered enough of life outside to last me a long time [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]